Loop de Loop
by Opalalchemy
Summary: "The way you've been messing around with space time jutsu you're either going to a) blow yourself up or b) wind up stranded in the past. Which is why we need a code word like loop de loop so if that ever happens everyone knows what's up." Tobirama stared at his brother. "Not the stupidest thing you've ever said, but it's up there."
1. Kakashi Gets a Roommate

Loop de Loop

Disclaimer: I own only the clothes on my back…which I bought with a gift card.

Summary: "The way you've been messing around with space time jutsu you're either going to a) blow yourself up or b) wind up stranded in the past. Which is why we need a code word like loop de loop so if that ever happens everyone knows what's up." Tobirama stared at his brother. "Not the stupidest thing you've ever said, but it's up there."

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Arc 1: Sakura

Chapter 1: Kakashi Gets a Roommate

The rumors were running rampant among Konoha's elite. Someone, though no one knew for sure who, had used the loop de loop code word.

"I don't get it." Yuuhi Kurenai sipped elegantly from her sake. "I've never heard of loop de loop."

"That's because you just became a full jounin. You're only read in after you've spent a year as a full jounin or you take on a gennin team, whichever comes first." Asuma's fingers twitched around a cigarette. Fortunately for Kakashi's nose and lungs this was a no smoking bar. Or maybe not so fortunate given that he had specifically picked this location. Kurenai and Asuma had been the ones to decide to tag along. Kakashi turned another page of his Icha Icha novel as he listened to his comrades' conversation.

"In that case I'll be read in before the month's end, might as well tell me what you can."

"Alright. But I warn you, you're going to think it's stupid. Loop de loop was put into effect by the Niidaime at the beginning of his tenure as Hokage but I heard it was his honorable older brother that coined the term. Basically, it's meant to denote a shinobi who's found themselves in a…unexplainable position."

Kurenai's curiosity over took her as she leaned forward to better hear Asuma's soft words.

"How unexplainable?" Asuma gave her a wry grin.

"Time travel, time loops, parallel universes, alternate—" Kurenai whacked Asuma on the arm, a deadly scowl marring her face. "Nice joke Sarutobi, you really had me going."

"Maah, poor Asuma-san is telling the truth Kurenai-san." Kurenai's scowl turned into an expression of bafflement as she catalogued Kakashi and Asuma's body language for signs of duplicity and finding none.

"But, but that's absolutely ridiculous! There's no way! It's impossible!"

"As impossible as summoning a Shinigami to steal away souls in battle? Or resurrection techniques?" Kakashi asked carefully, his lazy eye wandering the page of his novel more out of habit than any attempt at comprehending his reading material. "Such jutsu may seem fantastical, but they do exist. Really, it's because these instances are so rare that someone claiming the loop de loop is such a big deal."

"Has a loop de loop ever happened before?"

"Sensei ended up five minutes in the past once while he was developing his hiraishin. There were two of him at the same time for that particular loop de loop, I don't know of any other. While Kurenai mulled over his words Asuma shifted the conversation in a different direction.

"Aren't you supposed to be at the Tower Kakashi? You were summoned almost an hour ago."

"I'm not exactly known for my punctuality, Asuma-san."

"Yeah, but an hour's pushing it for a meeting with the Hokage, don't you think?"

Kakashi shrugged. "The summons wasn't urgent and I'm not allowed back on duty for another two days, it can't be that important."

A quick wave of angry chakra was the only warning the shinobi inside the bar had before the door to the main entrance was pulled off its hinges. A kunoichi colored pink and red marched through the door and straight to the table Asuma, Kurenai, and Kakashi were sharing. Now, in Kakashi's opinion, it was one thing for an angry stranger to be confrontational. It was expected really, what with his shinobi lifestyle and his at times deliberately obnoxious persona. But it was another thing entirely for an angry stranger to invade his personal bubble. Kakashi felt quite uncomfortable with the angry kunoichi's face quite literally three inches from his own. The only thing that stopped him from attacking her was the lack of killing intent and the fact that if she was confident enough to invade Sharingan no Kakashi's personal bubble she was probably quite skilled.

"I am so sick of waiting for you to show up! Would it have killed you to be on time today? Let's go, I'm too tired to put up with any more crap today!"

"I'm sorry kunoichi-san." Asuma's chakra blade had replaced the unlit cigarette in his hand and Kurenai was in a ready position. "I don't believe we know you."

The young woman's green eyes quickly flit over the three tense shinobi. She exhaled, reigning in her angry chakra, and took a few steps out of the range of Kakashi's personal bubble. She lifted her right arm and fist into a vertical defensive block and lightly tapped the flat of her left hand against her right elbow twice. "Loop de loop. Hokage-sama says I'm staying with you until this crap is figured out, Kakashi-sensei. Now I'm hungry and tired and I haven't bathed in a week so let's go!"

A pit of horror filled Kakashi's gut. Sensei!? Loop de loop!? He didn't want to be involved even tangentially in any loop de loop! But first…

"Sensei? I'm not a sensei!"

"You will be at the end of the month." The young woman replied matter of factly as she grabbed his arm and pulled him out of his chair with a strength beyond the norm for a kunoichi her size. "I would have gone straight to your apartment but your security measure are different from what you use in the future and I didn't want to accidently blow the building up so I need you to let me in. And—"

"I don't want you living in my apartment!" Kakashi wailed. What about his need for privacy? And the fact he didn't know anything about this girl aside from their future teacher-student relationship. Wasn't there some law against quartering soldiers within Konoha's walls?

"Well tough, I don't want to be six years in the past! Ugh! This is all Naruto's fault! Him and that stupid fuinjutsu!"

Kakashi looked back desperately at Asuma and Kurenai but they were still too shocked to be of any use in rescuing him from the extremely tight grip the pink haired girl held him in.


	2. Kakashi Get's Some Puppies

Loop de Loop

Disclaimer: I would never claim Naruto as my own. But this fic? This fic I do claim.

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Arc 1: Sakura

Chapter 2- Kakashi Gets Some Puppies

The pink haired shinobi from the future really wasn't that bad a roommate. Once she'd gotten clean, was fed and watered, and was allowed to take a twelve hour nap Sakura was far more pleasant and even tempered than he had expected. She kept her living space clean, washed the dishes, and knew enough about himself and his habits to know what boundaries not to cross. If she was unsure about something she even had the courtesy to ask him. She didn't even complain about his Icha Icha, only rolling her eyes and mumbling about his perversions after seeing their place of honor on one of his bookshelves before asking his permission to borrow one of his scrolls on earth jutsu and one of Minato-sensei's fuinjutsu books. All in all, Kakashi reasoned, there were far worse people to have as a temporary roommate. Specifically Gai, Anko, and Ebisu who had all lobbied for and failed the application process. Of course this was several years ago, during the housing crisis right after the war, when residences were in short supply and unreasonably expensive. Contrary to popular belief, Kakashi did not _just_ join ANBU after his teammates died to work himself to exhaustion and possible death. He'd also joined to avoid needing a roommate as ANBU pay is significantly higher than the salary of a rookie jounin.

Kakashi and Sakura had developed something of a routine in the evenings he didn't have a mission and Sakura wasn't being interrogated by the Hokage about future events. The fuinjutsu accident that had caused the loop de loop had left six thumb sized dots on his future-maybe student's right shoulder. Over several cups of chai, and once a bottle of sake, they would pool together their knowledge of seals and try to determine the significance of the dots and whether or not they could send her home. Individually neither of them were masters of the art of sealing, but together their knowledge was almost enough to figure out the puzzle. They hoped to figure out at least part of the solution before Jiraiya-sama returned to the village.

Another upside about living with an eighteen year-old Haruno Sakura was that she was very different from the twelve year-old Haruno Sakura currently attending the Academy. Kakashi knew this because in the three weeks since his apartment was invaded by a pink haired time traveler he'd taken the time to acquaint himself (read: spy) with his maybe-future gennin team. Naruto was exactly the same as the last time he'd taken the time to check up on the brat. Still as hopeless at the shinobi arts as he'd ever been, but a few comments from Sakura had raised his hopes for the blonde jinchuuriki's potential. Uchiha Sasuke was broody and…driven. Obsessed fit better, but, since the kid's mental state was about the same as his own had been at the same age, Kakashi was inclined to think more charitably about the last Uchiha. As for the girl…well.

"SASUKE-KUN!"

The pink haired almost gennin was currently following Sasuke around the Academy training yard with a few other girls, trying to get his attention. It wasn't working.

The tree branch he was crouched on shifted to accommodate the extra weight of the older Sakura as she jumped up to join him in his hiding spot.

"Still spying on me, sensei?"

"I'm not spying on _you_. I'm spying on _her_. And she seems much more interested in love than jutsu. Honestly, your whole gennin team is going to be a pain."

Sakura nodded in agreement. "We were a dysfunctional mess for a long time. And for your information I was just as interested in jutsu as I was in boys. My parents are lifelong Gennin Corps, Kakashi. I pretty much come from a normal civilian background, you have to account for that when you start training me. What younger me needs most right now is encouragement and a reason to motivate myself to put in 110% instead of the 70% younger me is operating at right now."

Kakashi put his hand to his chin in thought. He still wasn't sure about taking on three green gennin. On the one hand Naruto would be on his team. Sure, it would take a lot of work to get the kid up to standard (Why exactly the Sandaime and his Council didn't step in with private tutors when they saw the village's only jinchuuriki was failing out of the Academy, Kakashi had no idea.) but at least he had the certainty that it would eventually pay off. On the other hand, well, Naruto. Did he really want to become an integral part of the kid's life after keeping his distance and watching him from afar for twelve years? No, Kakashi decided, Naruto alone wasn't enough to make him pass a gennin team. If Naruto alone was enough Kakashi would have worked past his feelings of guilt and grief years ago. There must have been something about the three of them as a unit that had impressed future him because not even the Hokage could order a jounin to pass a gennin team. The Hokage could make his life a living hell if he didn't comply with his wishes but ordering him to pass a team or take on an apprentice was one of the few areas of shinobi life their esteemed leader had no authority over.

"What about the other two?" Kakashi asked cautiously. "What do they need most right now?"

"Well, Naruto needs a lot of work on the basics. But you already know that. His chakra control really stinks so maybe start on tree walking right away. Umm…other than that, all he really needs is to know you support him and that you're available to help him. He's really anxious about Kura- I mean, the Kyuubi, and how we'll react if we find out. But building that sort of trust takes time."

"And Sasuke?" The pink haired jounin hesitated.

"Sasuke…is like a wild dog. You have to treat him with care and caution or he'll run away…or bite you. Probably both. Don't just show him that you're reliable, show him that the entire team is reliable and capable and that we make him stronger. Listen, I know I just said trust takes time but with Sasuke you really need to encourage team building and also teach him to play well with others."

A small sparrowhawk flew by the tree. Kakashi turned to his treemate and observed her serious expression.

"Looks like Danzo-sama wants to meet with me."

"Root?" Kakashi didn't like the idea of his maybe-future student being affiliated with that supposedly disbanded organization.

A bright smile morphed onto the kunoichi's face. "Oh, I know a thing or two about it." With a swirl of leaves she was gone.

The day of team assignments came all too quickly and Kakashi soon found himself two hours late and standing in front of an Academy classroom door, thinking about the advice older Sakura had given him. Naruto needed Sakura's book smarts, Sakura needed Sasuke's drive, and Sasuke was a wild dog that needed to relax and trust his teammates. With a reluctant sigh Kakashi opened the door and sprung the completely obvious trap of the chalkboard eraser. Naruto immediately started hyperactively jumping up and down, shouting in excitement. Little Sakura hunched in on herself and made her eyes big and wide, apologizing profusely for her orange clad teammates prank. Kakashi wasn't fooled. He knew she wasn't sorry. Sasuke was hunched over himself and separate from the others, looking at him warily, ready to stab at him if he got too close.

"Hmm, my first impression of you all is…puppies." Really, their shocked and insulted faces were adorable. And totally worth it. Maybe having some new ninken puppies wouldn't be too bad. But first, they had to pass his test.


	3. Kakashi Gets a Houseplant

Authors Note: This chapter was a pain to put out. Re-wrote it three times and the original draft ended up being the basis for chapter four. Also, shameless self-promotion. I've given into insanity and started an SI/OC. The story is called Elephants and Oxpeckers. Go to my profile and check it out.

Arc 1: Sakura

Chapter 3: Kakashi Gets a Houseplant

Kakashi stared at Sakura's shoulder. Sakura stared at the mirror that reflected her shoulder. The accident that brought Sakura into the past left six black comma's on her right shoulder. But today there were five comma's. Kakashi watched as Sakura tentatively poked at the place where the sixth dot had been.

"Maa, that's different from yesterday." Sakura nodded in agreement.

"What do you think this means for our theories, Kakashi?"

"Well, perhaps the markings are on some kind of time release?" Kakashi sighed and rubbed at the headache beginning to form. This new development really negated a lot of their theories. They really had no choice but to wait for Jiraiya-sama to return to the village. Perhaps if they theorized in a different direction?

"Maybe we're going about this the wrong way. Are you absolutely sure it was Naruto's seal that sent you here? It wasn't something else?" _Like a kami?_

Sakura raised her brow and smiled mockingly.

"Well, theoretically the Sage of Six Paths or Fate or a kami have the power to send me here. But I'm the normal one on Team 7. Why would they even bother with me?!"

Kakashi slumped in defeat, knowing she was right and his sequitur was absolutely ridiculous. Time travel was one thing, but divine intervention from the Sage himself? Maybe at the end of the world.

A frantic rapping at the door interrupted their thoughts. Kakashi curiously reached out his senses to see who it was. Gai was his most frequent visitor, but he usually announced himself with the declaration of a challenge. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Sakura tilt her head.

"What's Naruto doing here?" His roommate asked aloud the question they were both wondering.

While Kakashi disabled the traps around the entrance, Sakura moved to open the door. The orange clad genin held a potted houseplant in his arms. His blue eyes widened and he almost dropped the plant in surprise when he saw Sakura instead of Kakashi

"Wow! You're pretty nee-san! And you look just like Sakura-chan! Are you her sister, dattebayo?"

Kakashi and Sakura exchanged an amused glance before Kakashi gestured for Naruto to come into the apartment.

"Sakura doesn't have any siblings, Naruto-kun. Why did you bring a plant to my apartment?"

Naruto's confused look turned into a foxlike grin. Kakashi suddenly had a bad feeling.

"Oh, I get it! She's your girlfriend, isn't she sensei?" Sakura's face turned an interesting shade of red while Kakashi swallowed back the vomit in his throat. Sakura was twelve! The fact that the Sakura standing next to him was eighteen didn't make the thought any less disgusting!

His student from the future hit her twelve year old teammate on the head with her fist, sending him falling to the ground, howling in exaggerated pain.

"Don't make assumptions about people like that, idiot!"

"Ah! You hit just like Sakura-chan too! Are you sure you're not related?"

Kakashi sighed. "What are you doing here, Naruto?"

The boy, still on the floor, rubbed the back of his head sheepishly before picking up the leafy green plant in his lap and presenting it to him.

"Hehehe, I got you a present!"

Kakashi stared dubiously at the plant.

"You got me a present."

"Yeah! As a thank you for all the hard training you've been giving us! Cause, you know, with all this super hard training we're now super awesome ninja! And we can do better and harder missions now, right sensei?"

Kakashi took the potted plant into his arms and looked it over with a small amount of suspicion.

"Maa, nice try Naruto. But you'll be doing D-Ranks until I say otherwise."

"Oh, come on, dattebayo! No fair!" Kakashi pushed the genin out into the hallway, then slammed the door. A giggle sounded from across the room.

"So that's how you got Mr. Uke."

Kakashi glanced down at the plant.

"I named it Mr. Uke?"


	4. Kakashi Gets a C-Rank

Author's note: Two chapters in two days! That's a record for me. No idea when chapter five will be though, it might take awhile.

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Arc 1: Sakura

Chapter 4: Kakashi Gets a C-Rank

D-ranks, Kakashi decided, are the best kind of mission. No need to assassinate anyone on a D-rank, or get chased by hunter-nin, or go through sleep deprivation on nothing but rations and caffeine pills. No fear of dying or getting his teammates killed. Yes, Kakashi would milk the D-ranks for all they were worth. Plus his cute little puppy ninken were so funny when they complained about lame missions after a full morning of intense training. The other jounin-sensei didn't share his opinion.

"D-ranks may be useful teaching tools but they're boring as hell." Kurenai's fingers tapped against the table in an irritated beat.

"D-ranks," Asuma insisted as he lit a cigarette, "are the gods' way of punishing us."

"I always knew you were a masochist, sensei. But I never once pegged you for a sadist." Older Sakura sat on his left, Asuma his right, and Kurenai directly across. Together, they were a united force on this controversial topic. Kakashi idly wondered if making Little Sakura pro D-rank would change Older Sakura's opinion on the matter. It would be an interesting experiment.

"You shouldn't smoke Asuma-san, it'll tar up your lungs. And it's not a good example for Team Ten." Sakura tutted. Kakashi was now well used to the medical chidings of his loop de loop student. Sometimes he listened and heeded her advice. Usually he didn't. Still, it was nice to see it directed at someone else for once.

Asuma snorted. "None of my genin are stupid enough to pick up my habit."

"Shikamaru was smoking a pack a day before I came here."

Asuma contemplated the cigarette in his hand for a moment before shrugging his shoulders.

"I'll deal with it when it happens. Anyway, have you even actually done a D-rank Kakashi?"

Kakashi thought back to twenty years before. His memories from when he was five and a newly minted genin were hazy. But he must have done quite a few due to the lack of missions available for five year olds standing just over three feet. Ah, that's right. He'd done quite a few D-ranks when sensei took on Rin and Obito. But he'd acted as more of a supervisor than a participant so sensei could spend more time with Kushina-hime. He'd received quite a few useful jutsu in exchange.

"Everyone does D-ranks, Asuma-san. I must have done one at _some_ point in my career."

The waitress arrived with more coffee and their breakfast. Asuma mumbled something about prodigies under his breath as the four shinobi discretely checked their orders for poison (it would be rude to be obvious about it). All new jounin sensei were expected to be in communication with each other for at least one year and were expected to discuss training regimens and the individual progression of their gennin. There were two main benefits to this system. The first benefit was that it allowed inexperienced teachers to receive advice and tips from their colleagues. The second benefit was that these discussions acted as a kind of oversight for the Academy. If the sensei noticed that all or most of the new graduates were lacking in an area they should have been competent the jounin could then report their findings to the Academy teachers or Hokage. Jounin sensei communication would be especially important this year, given that one of the Academy teachers was found to be a traitor.

The next hour or so was spent discussing their genin's progress and subtly interrogating Sakura for their pupils' strengths and weaknesses. She gamely went along with it, though she remained vague on details.

"If you want Hinata to be more confident try having a joint training session with Team Seven."

Or

"Shino often feels like a fly on the wall. Try to increase his interaction with his comrades outside of missions."

Or

"Shikamaru's dating a Sand-nin. There's a betting pool on if he'll move to Suna or if Temari-san will move here."

Asuma spit out his drink.

"What? He's going to date who? That doesn't even make any sense! Suna and Konoha are barely civil to each other!"

Sakura nodded her head in acknowledgment as she sipped her coffee. Her nonchalant expression, the steam from her cup, the diamond seal on her forehead, and the simple fact she was from the future made her seem particularly wise on the subject of discussion.

"They'll meet at the next chunin exams. She'll call him lazy. He'll call her troublesome. Love at first sight, really. It's all very romantic."

Kurenai snorted. "Well, at least one good thing will come out of our treaty with Suna. Can we get back to the topic at hand? Kiba told me he never had a unit on nutrition at the Academy and Hinata and Shino confirmed. If they weren't so high in their clan's hierarchy I fear their physical state would be much weaker."

"Chouji has some problems with overeating, but the Akimichi are generally good about nutritional intake. I have noticed Ino eats far less than Shikamaru, but she's within a healthy weight range so I didn't think much about it."

"Maa, Naruto's diet is fairly unbalanced but I took it to be an individual quirk of his. He's quite fond of ramen."

"Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure I was on a diet when I graduated from the Academy. I know for sure I didn't learn about proper nutritional intake for a shinobi lifestyle until I started my medical studies."

The four jounin looked at each other before slumping their shoulders. There will be a lot of paperwork involved for fixing this problem at the Academy.

After paying the bill and waving goodbye to his fellow sensei, Sakura was summoned by yet another sparrowhawk. A foreboding feeling crept up his spine but he shrugged it off. He trusted Sakura enough to know what she was doing with Danzo. He just hoped she'd come to him if she got in over her head.

After arriving at the training grounds and brushing off his genin's accusations of being late with a handy excuse (I saw lightning strike a tree and decided to wait and see if it would strike the same place twice) he started them on an obstacle course ANBU hopefuls had to complete. It was a bit difficult for them but he was fully confident they'd succeed in completing it eventually. Afterwards he split the three up to work on individual abilities. Naruto was practicing his chakra control with his shadow clones, Sakura was doing strength and stamina exercises on top of a nearby pond, and Sasuke was working on his speed and agility. An hour later, Kakashi clapped his hands to grab the attention of his cute little ninken who came rushing at his beckoning.

"Alright, time for the best part of the day! Let's go see what D-Ranks Hokage-sama has for us!"

The three genin groaned and Kakashi heard Little Sakura mumble under her breath about how she'd rather do more pushups. Hmm, he really needs to get her on his side about D-Ranks so he could test his hypothesis.

The "Capture Tora the Daimyo's wife's cat" mission was a success! And quite entertaining, though slightly disappointing, to see the three twelve year olds almost lose to a house cat. Still, their teamwork was good so he had no complaints. Despite the extra paperwork he'd acquired in the morning, it had been a good day. So, of course, Naruto just had to ruin it.

"Argh! I'm sick of all these baby missions, Oji-san! I'm not a little kid anymore, I can handle a better mission!"

The Hokage was going to reprimand Kakashi on mission office protocol and instilling discipline in his subordinates. Kakashi internally sighed. It was his fault. He should have lectured Naruto about the proper procedure a while ago. Oh, well. Nothing like a nice D-Rank to set a rambunctious genin straight.

"Alright, then. I'll give you a C-Rank"

What.

"In fact, I have just the client. Let him in would you?"

No.

A man in his mid-fifties and alcohol on his breath walked into the room. It wasn't fair. His cute little genin were too young and innocent for the big bad world of C-Ranks where absolutely anything can go wrong. And knowing Kakashi's luck, they'll probably run into some missing-nin and get the mission bumped up to a B-Rank.

"Also, another jounin will accompany you to Wave country before separating to complete their own mission. Don't worry about the extra cost, Tazuna-san. Her mission is being paid for by Konoha, not you. It's merely convenience that has you going the same way." The Hokage handed Kakashi the mission scroll and Kakashi returned to his apartment with some despondence after ordering his genin to meet at the north gate in an hour.

Kakashi took his time putting together his mission pack since the mission wasn't time sensitive. He threw in some basic genjutsu scrolls and a book on nutrition for Little Sakura, some basic lightning scrolls and some novels Kakashi himself had enjoyed as a child for Sasuke, and finally a book on chakra theory as well as Kushina's handwritten notes on the basics of fuinjutsu for Naruto. Kakashi arrived at the gate a half hour late and was surprised to see two heads of pink hair instead of one. Little Sakura was gazing curiously at her older self with no small amount of wonder. Even Sasuke was glancing curiously at the eighteen year old look alike of his teammate.

"Hey sensei, your girlfriend's going on the mission with us!" Older Sakura bonked the blonde on the head.

"What did I say about making assumptions out loud?!"

"So, you're NOT sensei's girlfriend?" Little Sakura asked herself.

"No, we're just comrades. You can call me Sarada, and I look forward to accompanying you on part of this mission."

Kakashi glanced curiously at his loop de loop student. He wondered what was so important in Wave, if it was actually Wave she was heading, that she would leave the village and risk missing Jiraiya.

"Alright team, it will take us about a week to reach Konoha's border so let's get moving."

And so Team 7's first C-Rank began.


End file.
